Just raising awareness on a subject of importance to myself

Cheeky3 · May 1, 2022

Just wanna vent a little bit here - this will be a long post

I suppose upbringings could explain why a tutor I had when I was younger would insult me for the “weird” way in which I write although I’m dyspraxic - she actually said “could you write like a normal person?”. I write with my elbow out as a leftie too. And then complain when my handwriting was poor when I was forced to write in a “normal” way.

Personally I feel there should be a requirement for much more diversity (including and trans etc) education from an early age. Too many think it’s fun to mock ppl with disabilities.

It can be incredibly frustrating when I annoy ppl with my idiosyncranies - that’s the real challenge of neurodiversity. I don’t always pick up on social cues or I may process things differently. Then ppl think I’m winding them up or I want attention. Or I don’t care what they’re saying when I simply misunderstand... you just have to be very specific with your boundaries. Had such issues at high school and it was awful!! Glad those forced interactions are over, and so happy I’m working from home these days. That way I get to avoid being labelled an attention seeker.

I’ve been feeling frustrated for a while now so I wanted to speak out - it’s an important issue to me. Just because a disability is invisible doesn’t mean it’s not there. I named myself cheeky as saying I have a neurological condition just comes across to so many as an excuse! I do understand it takes patience though to explain everything and justify everything you say.

Reason things didn’t work always very well for me was the way society works is a top-down approach - be it schooling, workplace, and even online forums etc. The more senior must be respected and orders followed without questioning. Asking someone to rephrase something or explain things differently too many times is seen as rude or “pushing buttons” unless you’re visibly disabled. Many times disabilities are invisible and so the senior should not take such personally.

Just because someone appears to be different from first glance does not make them an online troll. Let's all stop jumping to conclusions!!

I see the internet as such an important outlet to connect with like-minded ppl. And I wish to be a positive contributor here. That was a long post. Thank you for understanding

Cheeky3 · May 1, 2022

This is something I posted here: Reason for Username choice post#55 and I thought I'd share it here

ubuysa · May 2, 2022

I do understand how you find the way society and education works to be frustrating when you don't fit the "societal norms". I know it's a cliche to say that "we're all different", but we are. However most people are different in only small ways, most people are right-handed for example, and so society and education is organised to best fit the masses. That's a disadvantage to those who don't quite fit of course.

I think education has to be organised the way it is, or it would cost way too much. In an ideal world we would all be educated as individuals with a class size of one, but the cost of doing that would be huge.

I'm a senior citizen now and the one thing I've seen in my life so far has been the enormous strides we've made in being inclusive to those who are different. I remember as a child that you were not "allowed" to be left-handed for example. I think we're all now much more aware (well, most of us!) that there are those who are different and that some are more different than others. I would hope that you've seen those changes too? Clearly we all still have a long way to go before everyone feels fully included, but I do think that for most of us it's not for the want of trying.

Cheeky3 · May 2, 2022

With regards to education though, I feel like teachers have their own ways of teaching ppl. I think small things like not being dismissive when someone says they learn differently or stereo-typing saying that you’ll learn better if you do x, y and z. Just because they learn best in that way doesn’t mean everyone does.

Now that is tantamount to telling a person disabled in terms of mobility that you have to walk to be successful. Just because a disability is invisible doesn’t mean it’s not there.

I get what you are saying regarding cost though, however that is not the case for everyone in my opinion. I think preconceptions like that need to be resolved.

For example, I encountered a teacher who believed we all learn best by discussion. However, what about someone who has verbal processing difficulties who requires written information? I feel by making small adjustments, there’s almost always a solution that works for everyone. But many teachers from my experience do not consider input from their students on how they learn best.

I think it’s the “do as you’re told” mentality from those in charge that is problematic. I personally believe in a management style that respects differences between individuals.

ubuysa · May 3, 2022

Cheeky said:
With regards to education though, I feel like teachers have their own ways of teaching ppl. I think small things like not being dismissive when someone says they learn differently or stereo-typing saying that you’ll learn better if you do x, y and z. Just because they learn best in that way doesn’t mean everyone does.

Now that is tantamount to telling a person disabled in terms of mobility that you have to walk to be successful. Just because a disability is invisible doesn’t mean it’s not there.

I get what you are saying regarding cost though, however that is not the case for everyone in my opinion. I think preconceptions like that need to be resolved.

For example, I encountered a teacher who believed we all learn best by discussion. However, what about someone who has verbal processing difficulties who requires written information? I feel by making small adjustments, there’s almost always a solution that works for everyone. But many teachers from my experience do not consider input from their students on how they learn best.

I think it’s the “do as you’re told” mentality from those in charge that is problematic. I personally believe in a management style that respects differences between individuals.

This is interesting because I spent a good many of my working years as an IBM mainframe operating system educator (not working for IBM though). I've been in the position many times where I couldn't understand why a student was not grasping a particular concept. Of course I spent the time to try and explain it in different ways, or have the student explain their understanding to me so that I can see how they're thinking.

The problem for me here was that I often had a dozen or more other students who have grasped the concept and who are sitting idle whilst I try to help this one student. That's also true in practical sessions, I may have a queue of other students needing help whilst I'm spending more time with one. And yes, I have spent lots of time after class (or before class) to help those who learn in different ways.

Just as with formal education though, it has to be a balance. I could not always give people who learned differently the time they needed without it impacting others in the class. It's very hard - and frustrating. I have seen more than one student finish a class and know that they didn't get all they could out of it. We do our best and sometimes it's just not good enough.

It's not a perfect world....

Cheeky3 · May 3, 2022

ubuysa said:
This is interesting because I spent a good many of my working years as an IBM mainframe operating system educator (not working for IBM though). I've been in the position many times where I couldn't understand why a student was not grasping a particular concept. Of course I spent the time to try and explain it in different ways, or have the student explain their understanding to me so that I can see how they're thinking.

The problem for me here was that I often had a dozen or more other students who have grasped the concept and who are sitting idle whilst I try to help this one student. That's also true in practical sessions, I may have a queue of other students needing help whilst I'm spending more time with one. And yes, I have spent lots of time after class (or before class) to help those who learn in different ways.

Just as with formal education though, it has to be a balance. I could not always give people who learned differently the time they needed without it impacting others in the class. It's very hard - and frustrating. I have seen more than one student finish a class and know that they didn't get all they could out of it. We do our best and sometimes it's just not good enough.

It's not a perfect world....

I understand. What I meant, though, was to try reaching a solution that works for everyone. Perhaps teachers should adapt e.g. provide notes beforehand.

Or for example not try to “prepare students for university” early on by not writing down important points that can be noted. That’s a problematic assumption because all academic institutions have to make adjustments for disabilities anyhow. So the way it impacted me was to prepare me for something that would never happen because at university they would support me anyhow. I think teachers should help students be their best at present rather than prepare for the future, as everyone will end up dealing with things in different ways.

I think the issue is also that other kids may view any adjustments as special treatment... life is unfair!
Is this something you experienced? I certainly did and the teachers found it challenging and I found it upsetting

Cheeky3 · May 3, 2022

I think you’re a great teacher for trying!!

I’ve had good and bad teachers and I feel diversity and inclusion should definitely be a part of teacher training, if mot already. Things like “unconscious bias”. Just because someone has a condition doesn’t mean they’re in any way less intelligent necessarily. They can be more creative

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